Monthly Archives: February 2008

I almost broke my policy on comment non-deletion. There was something I said among friends—among ashtangis—a while ago, and later it caught the attention of another group of people and raised a bit of looky-loo, clicky-click. Oh yeah, it’s the internet. More than just your friends. The comment had to do with the practice of […]

For emotional provocation, a girl with a piano is most powerful. A piano was my self-expression during the terrible years—high school—so maybe that’s got something to do with it. But anymore, the strongest mood-shifter (mental state-shifter) for me is electronica. The Editor, bard to the core with thick icing layers of rock and jazz, protests: […]

Said to me in a ladies room: "I found your blog and would have never guessed you were such a tweaker! Look at that! You and your random expletives! If you were a man, I'd totally date you. You're a crazy girl." The other night I re-read something written in my private journal back in […]

Someone new and kindred in New York wrote to me, about the whole “becoming the disease in order to cure it” theme I worked over last week—both with the third series grit and with the drug withdrawal. He’d been reading a forgotten one of UG’s books on the subway, and ran across this: Because will […]

Ten Freeway—virgin in the empty dark, whore in the crowded morning.; Love and hate; sinner, saint. Line across the city from beautiful decrepit corner of downtown to seedy taken-for-granted section of beach. Slicing through the rest, violating it, reducing it, taking its measure. I do think of the ten as a temperature-taker and a ruler. […]

Headache yesterday. I got all dramatic about it too, after it made me throw up and gave me the chills. So wrapped-up in it, in contrast to the big one last August on Vipassana retreat, when I could just drain some of the ownership and anger off the sensation and watch it go in on […]

Third series home practice. Funny joke. Yeah, me in the kitchen standing on one leg with the other behind my head. Don’t miss a beat as the fridge clicks on, the phone rings, and the neighbor harumphs out on the balcony to holler the squirrels in for breakfast. My kitchen-floor practice is growing little by […]

Solidarity is not a product of time: it’s a product of shared transformation. Religious people know this, and summer camp directors and fraternity presidents, and the higher-ups in a good social movement. There’s a paper I’m not writing (because you don’t expose your friends like that) on how leftist social movements generate passion and unity […]

Some threads I want to tie together before they go away. It being Valentine's Day reminds me, I suppose. The joke about a well-hung God (comment 7). The moment of relief in the Violent Femme’s angry serenade. The moment King David really saw God (in Bathsheba). And before all that, this wonderful thing from John […]

I want to think I churned down through another layer of sediment of my unconscious today, and that’s why I hit a whole oily-black vein of VBS songs. (VBS: that’s vacation bible school, for you non-initiates.) I don’t want to be a phairisee, I don’t want to be a phairisee… ‘Cos the phairisees aren’t fair, […]